Monday, July 15, 2013

Dare to Dream

I started off the year with a carefully laid out plan, lots of goals, and a few dreams. I am not going to write the specifics out, but they included fun workout adventures, plenty of races, time goals, and dreams of finishing toward the top of some races. Well, life doesn't always work out as planned, sometimes you don't reach those goals, and dreams slip through your fingers. I went through all kinds of emotional stages, but finally got to a point where I have to focus on the things I can do. The only exercising I could do was work out my arms with a resistance band which I did every day for 2 months (Hoping that my arms will one day look like my friend Kim's!). And really just hang out, which I don't get to do very often, but I did have fun going to many movies (I loved The Heat), having leisurely dinners, lots of pool time, and many mojito's with friends and family.

Hanging out with my mom on bike taxi before Pirate Game - Let's Go Bucs!

Now I am at the point where I am thinking about the rest of this season and next year. I am finally cleared to long as I don't do flip turns, use my right leg to kick off the wall, or kick my legs while I am swimming. I am not sure if I even consider what I am doing swimming, but it is progress. I also imagine that I must look like an arm wailing, leg sinking, dork. I almost want to scream out loud that I really do know how to swim!

Anyways, part of me wants to start planning, wants to put that next race on the calendar, start imagining training and racing again, but another part of me is scared that I will get hurt again. Thinking about next year, I already have races in mind, a travel/training adventure planned in my head, and dreams of doing well, but I am afraid of being heart broken again. When it comes down to it, I know it took dreaming big, lots of hard work and sacrifices to get where I am today, and I wouldn't change it for the world. About two years ago, I made a commitment to do what it takes to try to reach my potential. I put in big miles, made training one of my big priorities, and unfortunately had some freak, pretty rare, super slow healing injury. Despite occasionally wanting to at a few points, I will not give up. I also feel like I have lots of unfinished business to get to and sitting around thinking about it, isn't going to get me there. So when my doctor clears me to start running and biking again, I will definitely have to tackle some fears and get back on my horse (or bike). I have my fingers crossed that it will be in time to train for a late season race, but only time will tell.

I am traveling up to Lake Placid to cheer for Jeremy next week, and I know it will be bittersweet. Lake Placid was one of the races where I had specific goals, and I had a dream. There is no way of accomplishing it this year, so I have to let it go. I also know it will be fun, because I get to cheer for Jeremy and lots of friends. I have a handful of races and places that I have put on my 'revenge list' because I either had a horrible race experience or I just wasn't able to compete because of injury and Lake Placid will be I know I will be back : )

Hanging out with Jeremy - Good Luck at LP!!